|Me in the Hospital When I Got|
I used to be a normal kid. I could go outside, play sports, hang with friends, go to school, and eat pretty much anything a teenager could eat. But now my life has changed 100% where even the simplest tasks can be difficult. I am physically unable to go to school because of my disorder or be around friends which I loved so much. I can't ever play sports again or do any activities which I very much missed. I can't eat sugar of any kind (natural or refined) and I pay the price the hard way when I do. But really out of all this I think the most annoying thing is that I can't even go to the beach which I can physically see out my window when I wake up every morning. All this has proven to be way to stressful on my body and there really is no way I could live happily if I tried to do these things, no matter how much I want to. A lot of this I've just learned to accept but it really just makes me realize how different my life is from most teenagers and how hard it is for most people to understand.
|My Medicine I Take|
To be honest I think one of the hardest parts I have to deal with is my memory. I feel like almost all my memory is gone from when I was younger and that I've only been living a few years of my life. When my friends would bring up funny moments from our past, I would be left there not having a clue what they are talking about. I had a girlfriend which I dated for 9 months..I can hardly tell you 1 moment we spent together because I truly cannot remember. Trying to write this post was a struggle because I couldn't remember if I've had my disorder for 2 years or 3 years. (I find that funny though) Even now if I'm under stress one day I most likely will not remember what happened the next. This is one of the hardest things to deal with but like everything else, I get through it and don't let it keep me down.
Lastly the thing that by far bothers me the most is how I appear to others when I'm going through symptoms of my disorder. 90% of the time I'm not "normal Taylor" and people don't see who I really am. Not being able to talk correctly or appearing awkward in some social situations because I can't mentally comprehend what someone says is something that happens all the time with me. We all get brain fog and feel like idiots sometimes with celiac disease. But to me when i'm talking to someone, I feel like an idiot almost the entire time! Ha, it's just hard to deal with when meeting new people, and just imagine what it's like with all the judgmental teenagers in high school. I don't care what people think about me and how I appear to them, especially people in high school. But I do care about giving the wrong impression of who I really am to people I would really like to know.
|A Healthier Me|
I'm told all the time, "You must have grieving and crying sessions with all your dealing with!" or "I can't imagine how difficult it is to deal with what you are going through at your age!" Honestly, it is hard to deal with and I know it's not normal compared to what most teenagers do. I realize I will never be able to drink alcohol, I can never go to actual school, I can never play sports and do normal things with my friends. But does this bother me? Of course it does. To the point where I decide to just give up and mope around about it? Not at all. I've learned over the past 3 years that setting your own priorities straight and figuring out what's most important in your life is everything. Playing football and hanging out with my friends used to be 1 of my top priorities, but that changed. Now I set new priorities to take each day to get better with my health and to try and change the lives of others. I'll say even though it seems crazy to do at 16 years old, I truly am happy by the end of each day no matter how different my life may be from others. It's a constant struggle, it's an every day battle, but I don't at all let any of this define who I am and I never will.